You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
