dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
