I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
How external is "for external use only"?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
