and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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