Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
