I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
