I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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