Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
