so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
