she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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