Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
