she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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