you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
