No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
