Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
