she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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