...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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