I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
