im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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