id be glad to
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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