I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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