Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize