Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
