Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
