just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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