How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
