I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize