I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?