She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
