i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
