Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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