Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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