im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Is Oprah even human
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
