I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
