I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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