if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize