Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize