After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
