Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
