Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
