you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
