"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
