Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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