Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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