Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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