This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
