So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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