i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
