I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
