the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
