And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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