And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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