im about as happy as oj after his trial
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
