Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think I died a long time ago.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
