Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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