reminds me of losing my job
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
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its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
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He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house