1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.