Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell